Restless….Cant Sleep! @__@
just worked on a joker canvas and about to start on a green lantern canvas…my mind just wont shut off ;/. so much has been happening lately i feel over whelmed at times…feeling like wasted talent….got a shitty job, no friends, dont even get me started on my living situation….life right now is just AHHHHHHH!!!! but the show must go on, so ill just tuck these problems in my back pocket and keep truckin’… hopefully things will turn around soon..
My beautiful Girlfriend got me this awesome watch for valentines day! ;D the detail is amazing.. been wanting one of the old style pocket watches for a while.;)
really would love to get in to voice acting….keep being told i’d be good at it but….meh!
Confession:
Some thought’s i have i guess are better left unsaid now, since the time to say them has passed…maybe one day ill have the opportunity to again…until that time, i guess i’ll just keep these thought’s inside my head…
CONFESSION:
I’VE HAD A CRUSH/THING ON ONE OF MY TUMBLR FOLLOWERS SINCE HIGH SCHOOL….
JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE SAID, DOESNT MEAN IT NEEDS TO BE HEARD..”
so for Halloween…..
i still havent really figured out what im going to wear but was thinking maybe going as marty mcfly…..was also thinking about maybe doing a whole teen wolf Marty so i dont have to shave my beard lol decisions, decisions..either way i think my biggest problems is making the hoover board in time…
call me crazy…
but…things are not going as planned at all…doctors told me a couple of weeks ago i could have the earlie signs of bels palsy.since i havent be able to taste anything really in almost 3 weeks..my own apartment doesnt look like thats gonna happen…since my father might need me to help his ass out the whole again or he’s homeless..i swear i hate being the parent to my parents.lol….but looking at the brighter side of things hope this misfourtune is a blessing in disguise…hoping this way i will have no excuse’s to not be in school….on top of those life hik-up’s it seems like my friend list has gone down dramatically and no im not talking about “face book”, fuck that! im talking my group, i look around and i see i stand alone lately. which happens.people drift apart, that’s life. but me and my brother of 18yrs have officially fell off. he acts and talks to me like im a friend of a friend.so i guess thats what i am..fuck it! with all these things happening..i really dont care ;) i just want to be happy and kinda have been lately..so im gonna continue to make ME happy.
WOW!…..DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO SAY RIGHT NOW? 18YRS FRIENDSHIP GONE? WTF?
After a night out my brother of 18yrs he says, “fuck you” and he “no longer want to speak” to me cause of a girl?????? wtf? guess, no one wants me to be me and be happy! not even like i was pursuing her, i talked to to her…sue me! mother fucker acts like Mr. Don Juan! im anything but! sucks i lose a friend (brother) over a girl i didnt even take home. not my fault she likes me. never thought a guy who ive gone to bat for so many times just tries to wright me off like im not shit. i finally see where i was blind….i deserve better than the people n my life.maybe being alone right now is what i need? dont know to much thinking to do…buzzed,tired and gotta work in the morning. maybe tomorrow ill wake up with people in my life that actually care about me……
BRAND NEW
so most of my clothes, kicks and misc. shit is in the trash…..gettin rid of me… woke up this morning and just needed something new……so i went shopping got a few things got a new pair of kicks.( which i might say myself are pretty simple yet friggin awesome.) ill post a pic.;) some hoodies, a nice jacket,pants you know the essentials.;) oh yea!….. also went super old school,80’s and bought a levi jean jacket. i know, i know a jean jacket? wtf? but i put it on and BAM! instant sexyness..lmao.(might try and do one of those old school graff jackets like pearch from 3fk be rockin’.) so throwing out the old and in with the new……i shouldnt be spending since getting my apartment is right around the corner. really cant wait to be in a new spot of my own no more having to worry about my parents or roommates being in my business, over hearing certain ”activities”, etc…..to be free of the bullshit a bliss all to wonderful. just sucks to know this would have happend earlier and would be easier if i would have found a roomie but i still think somethings happen for a reason and im better off on my own and i really think i need this now.
so my blog is i guess 220 pages long……
i dont think it’s everything i posted, only goes back to march 10th 2009…..like any time capsule its funny/heartbreaking to look back and see the things ive posted….from the pics, to the rants, to the whole reason why i started using tumblr…..her….reading these old post, i didnt realize just how hard i fell when i met her……i look back at previous posts realizing now that im the one…..the one who saw a girl for more than just her… it was about what i saw inside…..some one like myself but stronger in the areas that i was weak and vise versa. just sucks that my strongest suit and her weakest was love….i remember our endless conversations over the phone til we fell asleep.i remember our first night together….re-reading these posts was a bad thing to do……i realize now….it was my fault….i should have done more…i took our love for granted and now i stand alone…;/
4 layers into my next project and only a couple more to go…..hmmmmmmm….wondering how this is gonna come out.sad to say this is my first piece in over 6 months….been dragging.
Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!
two 16+hr days down one more to go…cant wait til im done with this art festival……next year instead if working it im getting a booth…this next year i plan on using some of the connections with my job and see if i can start a actual gallery of my own.im done messing around….these last couple of days ive felt brand new dont know why…but i like it…;)
